I seem to have found an answer to my own question

From Foxnews, I've found another thought crime (entitled "Even Kids Know the Old Parsley-Pot Switcheroo"). The story states

A spokeswoman for the sheriff's office says it's a crime in Florida to claim that a substance is a drug.

Even if it is a drug? What if it is obviously not a drug? Will I go to jail if I claim that my shoe is a drug?

Meh.